IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY; EVERY POT STARTS OUT AS A LITTLE PILE OF MUD

I didn’t believe self care was necessary for me.

I’m a bit of a workaholic. I got into this mindset in college that working all the time was the only way things would turn out okay. There was a point I was working three jobs and going to school full-time while maintaining perfect grades. But I had to make sacrifices.

And those sacrifices were everything involved in taking care of myself.

There were days I’d forget to eat because I was so busy. I would pull all-nighters and drink barely a water bottle a day. I didn’t take alone time for things I enjoyed because there was this looming guilt that I wasn’t being productive enough. My body was ruined by 6 years of constant stress. I’d been pouring out for others for so long that I didn’t realize my cup had holes in the bottom from trying to scoop out from something empty.

I started going to therapy recently. And she’s been telling me each session that self care IS necessary. Because I’m /still/ doing all those things I just listed. Not caring for myself is why my exhaustion fills the room. It’s why the smallest thing makes me feel like I’ll collapse. It’s unsustainable.

So, I’ve been making changes. They’re small, and that little voice pushes back against the changes all the time. But I’ve noticed it’s getting quieter. And I think everything’s going to be okay.

Take care of yourself. The rest is just as important as the work.